#even know. things get okay and then they get absolutely terrible again. I cannot stop crying and I just want my life to calm down for like.

[godblooded]

let me tell you i haven’t ever felt this uncomfortable on here and i. hate. it.

[retrieve-the-kraken]

Okay, so I’ve finished my taxes, and I’m basically out of the woods with some overwhelming work stuff, and everything turned out well with a medical situation with my mum, but I am still very tired, but I also cannot keep going without putting my preliminary thoughts on my very first viewing of season 3 down on a post…

It seems my worst characterization so far is assuming that these two idiots would learn to communicate. They haven’t, they’re stupid teenagers, they’re really bad at it, they get mad at each other for everything, and they don’t listen. And that needs to change soon if we want Wilmon endgame.

Boris, do you do couples therapy? PLEASE HELP THEM.

I think a big reason Wilhelm lashes out, besides getting caught up in his own head, is the fact that he’s also constantly afraid of saying the wrong thing and pissing Simon off. But the stakes for Simon are clearly higher. Wilhelm really needs to learn to communicate, but he’s dragging a whole life of terrible communication and zero support, so HOW is he supposed to learn, if he naturally feels afraid to open up?

It shows in the way he reacts to learning about Erik. Simon might be right, and Erik maybe just gave in to peer pressure, like everyone else in that school (which we see over and over again, like with the strike, and that guy who just repeats ‘yeah hilarious’ when Vincent tells him, and the graduation rituals and basically everything that everyone does at that fucking school), and maybe he wasn’t particularly homophobic. Or maybe he was, but if he had found out about Wilhelm maybe he would have changed his views (after all he was a stupid kid too)… But how would Wilhelm know? Erik is dead, there’s no way of asking him, confronting him about it. And people still call him perfect, and still compare him to his brother.

It must be so traumatizing to have held this person in your head as the one you trusted for everything, the one who would support you most, the one who probably knew you better than anyone else, who would love you and be there for you no matter what, and it turns out that he might not have accepted you at all. And just like that Wille is all alone and angry and afraid again.

(This is why it’s extra cruel that August posted that fucking video, especially how premeditated it was to share it over the whole world, but also then tell Wilhelm that his brother was possibly a homophobe. It doesn’t matter that he went through that horrible hazing, it doesn’t matter that he put a stop to it, and it doesn’t matter that he’s a stupid kid too, the fact that he did THAT to someone, anyone, is awful and he should have known better.)

So that scene in season 1 when Erik teases Wilhelm about his crush potentially changes completely. Maybe he didn’t suspect anything, maybe it was just a coincidence that he never used any pronouns…

And that makes it even more traumatizing that his parents still think of Erik as the figure of perfection, and Wilhelm, who is queer and scandalous and rebellious, is the real thorn on their side. Fucking Ludvig saying that Erik really was perfect, that he didn’t have “that darkness inside of him”, to his surviving son… But for all we know maybe Erik’s death was not accidental, maybe he did have “a darkness” inside of him.

On the other hand, that “darkness” doesn’t excuse Kristina at all. I am convinced that this depression/burnout that she’s going through is absolute bullshit. Sure, she might be depressed, she’s still grieving her “perfect” heir, and she’s going through a lot. But it’s like Wilhelm says, how convenient that she shuts down and breaks down now. She wasn’t like this when the video happened, because she could still cover it up. And she wasn’t like this when Wilhelm called her to scream that he was going to abdicate, because she could still drag him out of Hillerska. It was only when he told the whole world, and there was no covering it up anymore, that she suddenly became fragile with grief.

And even if it were true, even if she’s going through a severe depression or burnout, as a result of everything that’s happened, that doesn’t excuse her previous lies and manipulations. And it makes the fact that she still really wants Wille to become her successor, despite knowing what it could do to him, despite knowing that he’s already extremely anxious and that he does not know how to manage his own emotions, is evil.

(And even if she wants August to be the backup too, knowing how he is, knowing his own family history, and how it could affect him too, is evil too.) MORE on this later.

Kristina uses her breakdowns to emotionally manipulate Wille into trying to do his best to be the perfect crown prince, now indirectly through Farima and Ludvig. And Wille’s so concerned with her and her fragility that it affects his relationship with Simon. Because he’s anxious about the possible imminence of having to take over, of being the new monarch, when he can barely control his own feelings, when he just wants to enjoy his first relationship and just be in love.

Of course he made things worse for himself and Simon when he publicly revealed their relationship, but we can understand where that’s coming from. He didn’t want to hide anymore, he didn’t want to not be able to be himself anymore, not be able to be with the boy he loves. But they’re still forced to hide, because people start hating on Simon, because people won’t stop talking about them (as much as I HATED Wille shushing Simon, I also understood that he didn’t want anyone to hear their argument, because he didn’t want to give people more reason to talk about them, but also there’s probably a lot of ‘keeping up appearances’ embedded in his mind), because they are very different and almost incompatible for many reasons, and because being the crown prince means conforming to a lot of things (no tattoos, no cutting your hair shorter than, no nail polish, no expressing political opinions, etc etc), and so he has to remove the nail polish and he doesn’t want his foundation to be geared toward LGBTQIA+ people or mental health issues… He can’t express himself, he can’t be himself, because what he is or who he is for real is not compatible with his role or what is expected of him… he’s so repressed still.

(The whole nail polish scene, and the scene where Simon suggests that Wille’s foundation could be geared toward LGBTQIA+ youth, reminded me a little of Isak in SKAM saying that he wasn’t just going to start marching in the Pride parade or wearing makeup. Wille is not necessarily about identity expression, or at least he doesn’t think that he should be. He just wants to be himself, and be with the boy he loves, and that’s it).

As for Simon, he can do no wrong, and I absolutely agree with everything he says and does, but he has always been very idealistic, and he does come across as a little more naïve than I expected, especially with the whole social media comments and his song. It wasn’t the first time he experienced it, because things went south for him when he appeared on the video, so for him now to think that people are magically not going to be cruel.

But I understand how much he’s sacrificing for Wille, and Wille not appreciating it at all must sting. Just like he points out that he didn’t have contact with Micke for years, for Sara’s sake, and suddenly she’s living with him… that fucking hurt. Simon has always been very opinionated and outspoken, and he’s very authentically and proudly himself, but he’s also always molded himself to what other people need, like being a parented child and taking on too much in the house to relieve Linda, and taking care of Sara, and worrying about his father, and letting himself be manipulated by Marcus, and now basically giving up a lot of himself to be with Wille. And as a result Linda treats him like he’s a drug addict, and Sara goes to the father she didn’t want to have contact with, and Marcus talks shit about him to the press, and Wille doesn’t listen to him…

Sara saw the light (sort of), so maybe hopefully Wille will too. More on that later too.

Anyway, it would have been nice for someone from the royal court to sit Simon down and explain to him what being the boyfriend of a royal involves, so that Wille doesn’t have to figure out how to tell him all these difficult things himself. Wille is so used to some of these things, they seem so obvious to him, that he might not immediately think of how weird or outlandish it might seem to Simon. (THat scene with the cake, I mean… it was funny in a way, but I wonder how many terrifying thoughts crossed Simon’s mind, the obvious “wait what??? did I just eat poison???” but also “wait what??? someone’s trying to poison my boyfriend????” and “there are kids here, have they also accidentally been poisoned????”).

I really really hope that, since he’s being forced to go to Boris with August, that Wille will think about going with Simon, and trying to work things out. They need to be able to say all these things to each other, get on the same page.

More importantly, I need a callback to what Boris said to him in season 2, about the expectations of his family, about being able to make his own choices. Which Wille internalized beautifully with that speech to Simon outside his house.

Anyway, this is already very long. Moving on to more general thoughts:

- I did think that the fact that they sort of resolved the whole issue with the police report and the drugs felt a little anticlimactic. It was built up and built up and the whole season 2 finale was about that, and we had a cliffhanger and everything, and then… bye. I wonder if it will come back (more on that later).

- And for that matter, Alexander just became a background character. Did he even have any lines? I could barely spot him.

- August telling Wilhelm in front of everyone at the table that he’s sure Wille will fuck up on his own… rich.

- Also Stella and Rosh was sort of hinted at, it happened in a blink, and then Fredrika was… jealous? Confused? Homophobic? All of the above? But then… NOTHING. Stella was even missing in the last episode, because she was “sick”… (scheduling conflicts for Felicia? Actually sick?)

- I think it’s interesting that Sara preached and preached to Simon about giving people a second chance, including their dad, and then she… goes and does it? It wasn’t the first time she did, she was with August despite the awful thing he did. And then she goes and… gives August ANOTHER chance????

- Someone needs to tell Sara that she needs to stop getting wtih August, because every time they get together somehow, Wilmon go south… It seems these two couples cannot exist simultaneously…

- So I still have to rewatch, but… is August then in the middle of selling his father’s estate to pay Simon? Are any of his friends aware of this?

- I have a cultural question: what was the whole deal about travelling to the US? I mean, I thought they were asking if these kids have never travelled abroad, but they mentioned the US specifically, several times… Is that a thing in Sweden, traveling to the US? Not any other part of Europe? Not Asia? Just wondering. Made me curious.

- Still waiting for this season’s Elias song… just one episode left… If we don’t get one, or a callback to Revolution, I might claw my face off…

- Nils repeating that maybe Wille would have been better off with someone from the inner circle. Seriously, Nils, who do you mean? WHO? Who could you be referring to? Hmm?

- Something else about Nils… a part of me really wished that Wille would have asked Nils for confirmation on the Erik thing. Wille obviously doesn’t want to believe it at first, but then he does, and hearing it from August makes it even worse, so maybe hearing it from someone like Nils would be the final confirmation that he would need, that his brother was the worst. On the other hand, for him to ask Nils to confirm something like that, as a gay, and possibly hearing what happened to him as a result of it… that would have probably made it even worse.

- Really hate that Marcus was mentioned, that he came back to haunt Simon in a way, even if it was minimal. But props to Simon for not rising to the bait in that moment.

- Simon, my love, i understand that you’re upset and heartbroken, but… it would have been nice if you tried to get Wille to talk to you one last time, before breaking up with him on his birthday… especially seeing everything he’s going through. Not that your feelings are any less important than his, of course, but… are you trying to get him to jump out the window????

-Eternally saddened by the disappearance of the orange sweater. Eternally saddened by the fact that Wilhelm did not set foot in or around Simon’s house this season. Although who knows, still one episode left…

Things that I liked most:

- Seriously the chemistry between Edvin and Omar is OFF THE CHARTS. The intimacy coordinator this season was very good.

- Especially that sex scene. Not just because it makes me immensely happy when my favorite ship fucks, because holy shit that was hot, but also because there’s a whole theme around all the hate mail and messages and classism and homophobia and toxic masculinity that Simon is a target of, especially being Latino, whilst Wille, being white and privileged and high class and the heir to the throne, is probably seen as the “man” of the relationship (especially since in the video he’s also the one “in control” whilst Simon is the receiver), so it’s very VERY satisfying to see that they are both top and bottom at times, and they both equally enjoy it.

- Also the use of choir music during the sex scene, giving it a very holy feel, much like Elias’s Holy playing when they have sex again in season 2… seriously I NEED my Elias song this season or I WILL START A REVOLUTION.

- At first I was annoyed at the whole “school possibly closing” plotline, because I thought it was unneeded. Or that maybe it would play a bigger role in the whole video-drugs controversy. But the truth is that it was really good, how it highlighted these kids’ privilege and the absurdity of wanting to cover things up and uphold traditions, and it also worked wonderfully to highlight the divide between Simon and Wille. As Simon says to Wille, he only takes a stand when he has nothing to lose.

- Felice. Felice this whole season was magnificent. Her whole breakdown over the end of her friendship with Sara, showing how truly important it was to her. And Madison saying that sometimes breaking up with a friend is worse than getting dumped, and I AGREE SO MUCH. But then I also think she loses her sense of self, because despite being popular and beautiful, she still gets used and treated badly, by August (obviously), but also by Wille (the kiss), and worst of all by Sara (who in a way used her for her horse, but also for the clout). And in the meantime, she’s treated differently than the other students for being one of the few black girls, and she gets singled out for her hair… and yet, the school is using her to make themselves look good. And now she decides to give Sara a second chance, because she really missed her, because it really hurt to lose that friend, and Sara goes and… does that…

- One of my favorite things about Simon is how he is proof that just because you’re gay doesn’t mean that you have flawless fashion sense. And i can’t help but wonder how fashion and style icon/ELLE’s Best Dressed Man/OMR Beauty founder Omar feels about Simon’s fashion choices. Never change, Simon, never change.

- Vincent was every bit of the tremendous asshole that I hoped he’d be this season. Did not disappoint. I wanted to punch him in the face every time he opened his mouth. Marvellous.

- I’m happy that we got more Madison, but still not enough. Still, iconic. Forever one of my favorite characters.

- I don’t know what to say about Sara and Micke. Just maybe that, when he played that song in the car, even before they started singing, i just knew “oh fuck, it’s all going to shit soon…” I guess Sara felt lost enough that she was suddenly willing to give him a second chance. And the whole “is that going to happen to me?” bit really made me sad. That she understands that mental health and mental illness is unfortunately many times hereditary, and worries that she might become just like him… But despite not being entirely like him, with addiction problems and such, she was still unreliable like him, she did bad things to her family like he did… I was rooting for you, Micke, we were all rooting for you.

- I feel that August’s love for status and for the monarchy might be starting to fray at the edges. First with the fact that he was reminded of his own traumatizing initiation, and reminded of how the crown prince, his cousin and friend and idol, himself was part of that. Second with the fact that Simon points out that he might have an eating disorder, how he would probably not fare any better than the queen if he were in such a stressful position as crown prince or king, how difficult it is for him to handle stress and anxiety. And third with seeing how it affects Wille and Simon and realizing that something similar might still happen to him and Sara. And the fact that he reveals to Sara why he is the way he is, that he lets his guard down with her, might point to even more growth (even though I hate that Sara sort of gave him a “second chance” again). Also I feel the reality of how they, the Royal Court, would control his life is finally sinking in. Hopefully he will also soon realize that they also use him as a manipulation tool. So maybe he won’t let himself be manipulated by them much longer.

- I loved Wille’s ultimate outburst at his mother and father, i love that he told them everything they needed to hear, about their emotional abuse, their neglect. Unfortunately they still refused to acknowledge how terrible parents they have been, and walked off, instead of trying to resolve it. So Wille throwing around the gifts, as impulsive and tantrum-ish it might come across, makes perfect sense. He tries to talk and gets nothing in return. If he’s repressed it’s bad, but if he expresses himself then nothing happens either.

- And I love that Simon got to see what Wille is really dealing with. As privileged as he might be, he’s still lacking the most important things: unconditional support and love. No amount of money or status can make it better, and Wille is broken. The only thing is that, Simon saw how broken Wille was over the death of his brother, whom he loved very much, but I don’t think he quite grasps the gravity of Wille learning that maybe that beloved brother wouldn’t have been so cool with him, because he has never had to deal with a parent or sibling rejecting him for his sexuality. It’s something very different to be rejected by society at large than it is to be rejected by your own family, and not everyone has the emotional strength to deal with that. So for Wille’s parents to still like his potentially homophobic dead brother more than him, is heart-wrenching. But I don’t think Simon really gets that because he’s probably not surprised that Erik might have been like that, because in his eyes those privileged kids in that school (except obviously Wille, and Felice and Madison, who is asking about the non-binaries) are probably all massive homophobes.

- Despite this, I love that Simon sets boundaries nonetheless. I mean, it hurt like fucking hell for him to tell Wille, on his fucking birthday, that maybe they shouldn’t be together. But just because Wille is hurting doesn’t mean that Simon has not also been hurting too. And if they can’t comfort each other, and try to support each other when they both obviously most need it, then maybe they’re just not going to work. And it took a lot of guts for Simon to bring it up in that moment, in Wille’s bed, in the palace, where he’s basically trapped, with nowhere to go, no way to get away (I doubt he called Linda in the middle of the night to come pick him up more than two hours away in Stockholm).

My hopes for the final episode (I don’t think I have any predictions other than, open ending or not, Wilmon will be endgame and there will be a revolution, I just don’t know how):

- Wilmon talk. An actual, healthy, heartfelt talk. A reconciliation for the ages.

- That the fucking school will close and August won’t be able to graduate, and he’ll realize that maybe he shouldn’t have “lived for that school”, as Erik once put it.

- That Wille will realize that, if Erik was not the person he thought he was, then maybe he no longer has to live up to his legacy anymore. @foreverunraveling pointed out how, now that the big Erik revelation is confirmed, then maybe the queen’s trump card to manipulate Wille into being the ideal crown prince is gone. Wille doesn’t care about the monarchy really, but he did care about not disappointing his brother, the “perfect crown prince”, and now we know that he was far from perfect. Erik lived a double life, as Wille points out, there was “public Erik” or crown prince Erik, and there was “private Erik”, or the real Erik (or so Wille thought, now we know there was a “secret Erik” which was the real Erik) and Wille struggles so much with the idea of having to split himself in two, . Wille cannot live a double life, he withers away when he has to hide himself, and now he gets the opportunity to leave that stifling life behind, and blossom.

- That Simon will get a fucking break. I hate that his whole life was turned upside down from the moment the video was leaked, and it’s just never going to be the same, whether he stays with Wille or not, he’ll always be the boy from the crown prince sex tape, he’ll always be the crown prince’s ex, or the crown prince’s boyfriend. But I want some positive feedback for him, someone bigger than the woman and the little boy wanting a selfie. I want him to have his own fanclub or something. Maybe that’s too idealistic…? (I may be imagining something like that scene in Red White and Royal Blue, when they realize that there’s a whole crowd outside the palace all excited to the the Prince and his First son boyfriend… one can dream).

- I want whatever Felice said during the interview to be taken seriously, and for her to stop doubting herself.

- I want a genuine apology from August.

- Also one from Kristina.

- I get the feeling that the fact that August leaked the video might still come out publicly, what with the whole school issue. And in that case, I would like for it to be Simon might to do it, tossing the money from the settlement in his face. It looks like Simon still feels guilty about accepting it, especially when he chided Wille about his privilege and Wille (figuratively) threw the money back in his face. What if Simon does it literally?

- I really wanna know what’s going to happen between Felice and Sara now. The outlook is not good.

- Is it too much to ask to know what’s going on between Stella and Fredrika?

- Most importantly, is the whole thing with Erik going to come out eventually? And how will people react? With support for the monarchy, or with support for Wille?

I have so many more thoughts, but I’m slightly burnt out, and I really should take a break. Also this is way too long. Might have more thoughts once I’ve rewatched the first five episodes, calmly over the weekend…

Also this is very long and I’m sorry.

[trifling-victories]

DDMonth Day 7 - Joke

Summary: Sarmenti finally cracks Paracelsus's sense of humor.

-

“What do you get when you cross a crusader with his loyal steed? A knightmare.”

Under his mask, Sarmenti grinned at the duet of groans his poor humor elicited from Dismas and Audrey. Absolutely music to his ears, made better by the surprisingly decent acoustics in the halls of the ruins. Paracelsus, who was trailing behind him, was quiet, off in her own world.

“You know, before the whole jester thing, I briefly considered a career in execution. Unfortunately, at tryouts, I just couldn’t cut it.”

“Boo,” Dismas called back in exasperation.

“Is it too late to amend my contract? I’d like to add a clause so I never get stuck with him again,” Audrey snapped with a sharp, quick glare to the jester behind her. He responded by dramatically clasping his hands to his heart.

“Oh, you wound me! Is it my fault if my audience has such poor taste?” Sarmenti barely kept from giggling. Maybe his companions weren’t having fun, but he certainly was enjoying being a pest. It wasn’t as if his terrible wordplay had no purpose, though. Whether his companions were laughing or jeering at him, an involved reaction meant their focus was taken away from their dire surroundings. It was his way of helping keep stress at bay. 

“I got another.” His intention was met with protests he ignored. “A fella finishes up a doctor’s visit, to which the doctor informs him that he’s got the plague and a case of amnesia. He replies, ‘well, at least I haven’t got the plague!’”

Another round of annoyed whining sounded off in front of the jester, along with something else that made him stop dead in his tracks. Following the joke, there was this strange, little *snrk* that came from behind him. The doc wound up stumbling right into his back.

“Oh, pardon, you stopped and—”

“What was that?” He questioned.

“What was what?”

“That sound! That, you know…” Sarmenti did a poor imitation of the noise. That only seemed to confuse her further. Even with her mask hiding her face, he could see the gears turning in her head. “Alright, I think that was a giggle, doc.”

She was silent, clearly stunned at such an accusation! Or maybe she just couldn’t believe that he stalled the group’s progress over something so mundane. “...Okay,” Para replied, nudging past him to catch up with the others. Unfortunately, Sarmenti wasn’t one to let this go so easily.

“Did you hear about the gentleman who had to have his infected left arm amputated? He’s all right now.” And there it was again. Though muffled by the mask, Para definitely snickered at that one. He grinned with all the enthusiasm of a madman. “That was a giggle! And another! I knew it!”

“I’m not sure what the fuss is all about,” she said.

Audrey huffed. “Darling, for the love of all that is holy, please don’t encourage him!”

“This doesn’t concern you!” Sarmenti was agog. The fuss. The fuss. Surely Paracelsus of all people should understand the importance of a new discovery! “Here’s the thing, I’ve never heard you laugh before!” Not at anything he’d done! He had cracked every one of his companions’ senses of humor. Dismas never failed to smile at some good gallows humor, for instance, while Audrey was secretly a fan of slapstick. The doc, up until now, was a total mystery.

“You’ve heard me laugh!”

“I’ve heard that cackle you do that makes you sound like a cliche villain, if that’s what you’re talking about.” “Not that I want any part of this,” Dismas chimed in, “but the way you usually laugh is fairly unnerving.”

“I—! I cannot believe what I’m hearing!” Her gloved hands curled into fists at her sides. If Sarmenti was a betting man, he’d wager she was blushing under her mask. The doctor had an embarrassing tendency to burn red at the smallest hint of upset. “Can we focus on the mission at hand? Distracting ourselves with petty topics like my laugh will surely see us wander into an ambush.”

He tapped his chin in faux thought for a moment. “I suppose you’re right. Fine, I can wait until we camp to bother you any further on the matter. Deal?” There was absolutely no hint of genuineness in his voice. The jester never dropped a subject for such a flimsy reason as ‘the group’s safety is at stake’. Still, the doctor bought it nonetheless.

Minutes of silence ticked by before he spoke again.

“How can you hear the blood in your veins?” Then he waited, trying not to crack at the near hateful looks the others all quickly fired. Timing was everything here. As soon as everyone’s guard was dropped, he made his strike. “You have to listen varicosely.”

Paracelsus outright snorted, unable to stifle it in time before it slipped out. “You…you dreadful man! I was more mature than you when I was a toddler!” On and on she went while Sarmenti laughed aloud like a hyena. Only when she finished ranting and calling him childish in every way possible did he promise, for real this time, that he’d let her be until they were back safe in town. She didn’t understand that she handed him a tool to do his job better. Medical puns, was it really that simple the whole time?

 When they finally camped, he traded the comedy for his lute. At least everyone genuinely enjoyed his music.

[qqueenofhades]

Speaking of Jack Smith and the indictments, follow up questions if you feel like answering! What do you think the chances of a conviction before the 2024 elections are? And (more worryingly to me), how much will convictions matter given they don't actually stop Trump from running or potentially being elected?

I've been following the investigations pretty closely, until I figured out last night that there are no laws against running for president from prison, and nothing stopping an imprisoned president from pardoning themselves. @_@ And while no one running for president from prison has ever gotten much of the vote, I have a terrible feeling that's one of those terrible firsts Orange-kun could pull off.

The thing with all this is that it is, for America, completely unprecedented political and legal territory. As such, while we can speculate and infer from what has happened thus far and what would normally be on schedule to happen next, we simply can't be sure. As I have said and as we all need to prepare ourselves for, Trump WILL be the GOP nominee at the time of the 2024 election, and if you thought he and his deranged cultists were dangerous to American democracy before, that's nothing compared to what they would be now. Which means we have the obvious task of all working as hard as we fucking can to get Joe Biden re-elected and given back full Democratic control of Congress. That is and remains Job Number One.

Next, Trump's only play is to delay, delay, delay as long as possible, in hopes of miraculously winning and canceling all the charges against himself like a proper banana-republic Autocrat-for-Life. That is obviously a terrifying idea, so see above: need to make sure it doesn't happen. The good news is that Biden beat Trump last time and if we do our part, he can do it again. Democrats are over-performing their 2020 margins by an average of 7+ points in the last 20 special or off-cycle elections, and while this isn't a sign to think we've got it in the bag and can just relax, it also means that the electoral trends are overall much better for Team Blue than they are for the Group Of Pfascists over there, especially since state-level Republican parties are basically bankrupt after throwing away so much money on pointless Big Lie challenges. Trump and his entire vindictive fascist apparatus is, again, terrifying. But it is not genuinely popular or in the actual majority, and we need to approach it like something that can and must be defeated, and not some unstoppable demonic force.

As such, we also need to recognize that even if Trump does go on trial and get convicted on any number of things before November 2024, which is still something of a long shot just because Merrick Garland dragged his feet on this for so long, he will try every bullshit delay tactic and appeal that he possibly can, in hopes of elevating it to a Trump-appointed judge and/or SCOTUS (he will try AS HARD AS POSSIBLE to get it to SCOTUS, since like every good mob boss, he thinks he owns them and they're obliged to bail him out). We don't know the timeline on that or what the effects will be, but as I noted last night, the benchmark for "progress on holding Trump accountable" constantly shifts and doesn't seem to be acknowledged, even when we are in the realm of the unprecedented for any former American president. And yet we do continue to make progress, and as I say whenever there's a development on that front, the LAST thing we should do is pre-emptively throw up our hands, despair about how it still doesn't mean anything, or just won't work. I know pessimism is easy and hopelessness feels like our default setting; the last almost-decade has kicked the absolute SHIT out of us and I won't pretend otherwise. But nonetheless, this is still happening. We just have to hang in there and do our part.

If we do that, and trust that Jack Smith and co. do theirs (as they have been doing so far), then things will probably, in fact, be okay. We cannot ever make the mistakes of 2016 again, which is why it's so maddening that a significant minority of leftist-identifying people seem determined to do exactly that, but it's certainly not as if all hope is already lost and the indictments will be a magic wand to speed Trump back to the White House (again, God forbid). We have to keep that in mind and our eyes on the goal, so yeah. We can do it and we must, and that's about all there is to it.

[thicctails]

"Viva la Viva, baby!"

So guess who watched Trolls 3 today~

Ngl, based on the trailers I had really low expectations for this movie, and it was really only after watching some TikToks with the villain song in them that I decided to give it a chance, and I'm so glad I did. 3 is by far my favourite of the entire series. Was not expecting to love Viva, but she was fantastic and I wish we had more screen time with her!

While I'm not entirely sure how I will/would integrate her into the Rough and Fluff AU, I decided to make a design for her anyways, complete with some little headcanons/additions. (Click the image for better quality)

More spoilery/AU discussions and 4th movie predictions below!

Okay okay, movie discussion first:

-I fucking LOVE the Putt Putt Trolls. Its so satisfying seeing how the trauma from the bergens being more fleshed out, and it makes perfect sense that they are as fearful as they are. I'm actually surprised there wasn't more pushback when Viva stopped them from executing Bridget and Gristle.

-(How did they escape actually? The tunnels collapsed, but were there other tunnels? Or did they have a different way out? How did so many, including the eldest heir to the throne, get left behind? Why did Peppy not get BOTH his daughter's immediately?)

-On the topic of Viva; notice how her ears are lower/sharper than Poppy's? I think that's typically a more masculine trait (not 100% bc we see some male trolls with softer/rounder ears) so uh yeah MTF Viva real suck my entire nards

-Fuck King Peppy. This guy gets worse every movie. He is the Dumbledoor/Sensi Wu of Trolls. Mans cannot just give Poppy relevant information to save his LIFE. I can understand not telling Poppy immediately, the grief of loosing his eldest daughter would understandably make that hard, but its been over 20 years now, and she deserved to know.

-Also, fuck most of Branch's brothers! I'm glad JD went back eventually (when exactly he did isn't clear, but sometime between the night of the escape and the first movie) but if he assumed Branch had died, why not try and contact his other siblings to tell them? Clay I can kinda understand with him not wanting to venture out beyond the mini golf area and leave the trolls he was helping to protect, but the rest of them? Not one of them tried to go back for their baby brother? Not even Floyd? When Trollstice was a thing?? Branch shoulda thrown hands fr.

-Rhonda the armadillo bus thing was hella cute and I want a plushie.

-I. Do not really like Crimp

-Velvet and Veneer slayed sooooooo hard. I hope Veneer makes a comeback.

-I also hope we see more of the other troll tribes again.

-The music for this movie was absolutely fire and I NEED a full cover of Sweet Dreams

-I wish the Grandma's death was touched on more than once for like .5 seconds. Like, come on guys, your brother just revealed a major trauma, and that your GRANDMA died!! For christ sake, maybe go apologize for fighting?? maybe go comfort him????

Movie numero 4 predictions:

-Broppy marriage. Branch fr said "Lets get married" by accident HES THINKING ABOUT IT

-Either Poppy/Viva get their mom back, or Branch gets one/both of his parents. Dreamworks will pull some bullshit out of their ass and say that uhm actually they escaped like years before the others did and have been, idk, trapped in the shadow realm or something.

-We see Chef/Creek again. Creek redemption ark would go crazy hard IF DONE RIGHT and I want to see that fear of some monster trying to eat all your friends come back again

-Broppy kid reveal at the end of the movie. Unbelievable amounts of Plush Toy Marketing and terrible spin offs ensue.

-backstory/lore/backstory/lore/backstory/lore/BACK

-I just want to see more Trollstice era stuff plz dreamworks

-We get a Sound of Silence reprise

-Branch/his brothers are revealed to be a hybrid/some kind of special troll. I am TELLING YOU this guy adapted to different kinds of music like it was NOTHING, something Poppy and the others struggled with. Hes got something in him I SWEAR

-Tiny diamond is, once again, part of the main supporting characters

Au shiz:

-If Viva IS put in, its going to most likely be during the sequel. Peppy is already going to be dragged through the mud, might have him mention something about a lost sibling near the end of the OG fic, and since the Pop trolls will be looking for a new home, maybe they'll run into her

-Branch's brothers will not be making an appearance. They simply dont fit into the narrative. I may do an alternate au with them included but who knows.

-Mildly considering making Tiny Diamond a Greek kid. (Guy x Creek) would make for some interesting angst.

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

i do think sometimes people think special interests are like. having an interest that is very big. and yes that is part of it. it’s the most obvious one to an outside observer. but, like, that in and of itself isn’t a special interest. neurotypical people can get incredibly into hobbies. and i think it’s important to keep in mind bc i've started seeing people go around saying really ableist shit about special interests again bc they view them as just very intense hobbies but like. they’re not.

autistic people do not choose their special interest, for one. like, i've seen a lot of disdain and downright hatred for people who have special interests in “childish” things going around and like… no, autistic people don’t have “childish” special interests because they refuse to learn media literacy or whatever. a lot of people's special interests come from their childhood- of course an eight year old isn’t going to be consuming media aimed at adults, and like, autistic children grow into autistic adults? they don’t just shed their special interests. special interests can change over time, absolutely, but they also sometimes, like… don’t? that’s not something an autistic person can control. and even if it’s something they got into later in life… it’s actually very normal for adults to like. not solely engage in “mature” things. like for one parents exist. and older siblings and cousins and just in general like. most adults have child relatives somewhere in the family tree and like, spend time with them? but even with that aside like, well adjusted adults don't aggressively reject anything they consider childish. adults have had nostalgia forever. adults have enjoyed animation and games and other “childish” things forever. who do you think makes kids content? passionate adults.

and i've also seen a lot of disdain for autistic people just having objectionable special interests and like. okay but they literally cannot control that you know that right. they can control the way they engage with it obviously this isn’t an excuse to like, be an asshole or a bigot, but also like… you can’t really consciously stop having special interests even if you don’t engage in it you’ll have thoughts on it and process things through the lens of it it’s not something consciously controllable. like do you think i'd choose to think about nothing but extremely dark psychological horror minecraft child abuse like no that’s fucking weird as shit. i actively dislike one of the two creators involved but i physically cannot stop thinking about his stupid roleplay i have tried to stop and it lead to me self harming bc i couldn’t and the thoughts distressed me very badly.

on that topic- yeah, trying to “break” a special interest not only doesn’t really work bc it’s not like. a hobby. it’s something we constantly think about and a way of making sense of the world. it’d be like trying to get rid of depression by never allowing yourself to think of sad things like that’s not how it works. it also can be fucking dangerous. coping mechanisms exist for a reason, and throwing them out with no replacement or actual help involved can fuck you up for life. you're likely to either have a complete breakdown or get infinitely more unhealthy coping mechanisms. and while special interests aren’t a one to one analogy to coping mechanisms they’re closer to that than a hobby let me tell you. i see so many posts telling autistic people that they have to “break” problematic or even just fucking “cringey” special interests and like. bro 99.99% of the time it is not worth self harming or being institutionalised over. because that’s like, what happens if you deny yourself access to a tool that allows you to access the world? like please stop so flippantly basically asking autistic people to risk extreme burnout at best bc like. the creator interacted with someone who turned out to be a terrible person ten years ago with no reasonable way of knowing that. like c’mon. y'all just wanna see autistic people suffer and are wrapping it up in progressive coatings like take a LOOK at yourself.

like, sorry. you think it’d be so easy for this website to not be ableist. but no you’re back to just spreading flagrant misinformation about autism to try and sound better about yourself. like, are there some shitty autistic people who use their autism to be bigots? yeah, duh. but using that as an excuse to mock autism as a whole is completely fucked up. we can’t win unless we fight against ALL bigotry, and that means while bigoted autistic people are acting unacceptably using ableism to combat them only helps perpetuate those systems of harm. call out the bigotry, not a person's existence. and for gods sake, stop treating “likes the owl house” as a moral failing equivalent to that like no media literacy isn’t dead bc autistic people are cringey you’re just looking for smart sounding ways to justify treating disabled people as if they’re degenerating humanity and like. treating disabled people as if they’re degenerating humanity has a history that’s pretty incompatible with like, anti fascism and fighting for equality.

[shirohige-pirates]

Hey Doll

CisFem Reader x Thatch

CW: toxic parents, manipulation, The Plan™, smut, mdni, I'll add as we go I'm kind of fly by the seat of my pants on this one.

tag list: @mfreedomstuff @harahettania @clumsyraccoon

Chapter 14: It's Okay

Thatch doesn’t move or say anything more. He sits quietly, his eyes mostly on you, but he looks around the apartment from time to time.

“… I’m sorry.” The words are small. A quiet whimper that he only hears because there’s no other sound right now. You don’t want to cry, you don’t want to think he’s only being kind to you because you’re crying so you won’t do it.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s… it’s not.” You insist, looking into his eyes for a second before looking away. “I can’t… I couldn’t.” Putting a hand over your face you take in a slow deep breath. “I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t. I’m so sorry.”

Thatch is quiet for a moment and you can feel your stomach knotting dangerously. You’re expecting him to yell, or pull you out from under the table. Worse, he might just abandon you because you’re not giving him what he wants, you’re not agreeing, you’re not telling him everything. He should be livid.

“Are you hurt?” He asks finally and you flinch at the sound, and the fact that you are, but you didn’t want him to know. “Can I see?”

“It… it’s… I mean…” You can’t stop your body from shaking. You don’t even know what you’re afraid of. Will he hate you now that your face is damaged? Will he be angry?

“It’s okay,” Thatch says, putting his hands up. “It’s okay, you don’t have to show me. I’m not mad, I won’t be, I promise.” His voice is soothing and your trembling subsides a little. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Pressing his lips together he closes his eyes, suppressing a sigh. He’s almost afraid to ask the next few questions, but no matter your answer he cannot get upset. “Is anything broken?”

You shake your head.

“Do you need stitches?” He prompts and you flinch, but you shake your head again. Thatch’s stomach knots, someone hurt you enough you’re bleeding, or were bleeding, but you don’t need it stitched. He hopes Pops can get your parents thrown in jail, because otherwise he thinks he might just kill them himself.

“Okay, that’s okay.” He moves enough to get on his knees. “I… I have a confession. I think we both do, but I’m going to start, okay?”

You start to shake your head but then you nod, staying tucked under the table.

Thatch takes a deep breath and lets it out in a heavy sigh before bowing his head all the way down to the floor. You’re shocked by the gesture, and start to move toward him when he begins talking.

“Izou found your journal.” You freeze. “The one you had hidden in your bathroom. I’m sorry, but we read it. Just a little bit when we were getting your things, but we read the whole thing while you slept afterward.”

You’re still trying to process what he’s saying, your mind going back to how angry he sounded. He was angry at your parents though, and he should’ve been angry at you. Your journal was your confessional. It was how you atoned for all the terrible things you thought about your parents. You owed them so much you-.

“I wanted to wait to talk to you about it because I wanted you to have time to adjust, but that was wrong. I should’ve talked to you about it right away, and I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?” He continues and you finally find your voice.

“I - but… don’t you… don’t you hate me?” You question and Thatch looks up. The confusion on his face makes you fumble for your words, but he gives you a moment to collect them. “After reading that, don’t you hate me?”

You’re worried he’s going to cry for a moment before he smiles. “Not at all. I don’t hate you at all. You did your best, and despite having,” he pauses for a second, grimacing before he continues. “Absolutely terrible, manipulative, disgusting, and vile parents. You’ve managed to be so kind that it makes me worry about you.” He admits.

He breathes in deep again, letting out another sigh before he gives you a cautious look. “It’s a terrible invasion of privacy to read someone’s diary like that. A severe breech of trust, especially since I didn’t say something right away. Are you angry?”

You shake your head after considering it for a moment.

“Forgive me?”

You nod.

He relaxes, sitting cross-legged and giving you a soft smile. “Your turn.”

You take a few moments to collect your thoughts. If you start with the most recent thing, it won’t make any sense. It started with finding the phone.

“There was… I mean, they hid a phone and a note in my things.” You begin quietly. “Wanted me to text them when I was alone, and so… so yesterday, I did.” Your face scrunches up as you fight to hold back the tears. “I didn’t want to, but… but I did.”

“It’s okay.” Thatch insists. You don’t say anything against it but you shake your head a little.

“Father showed up and took me to a place. H-had someone make a copy of my key.” You hug yourself against the table leg. “Told me to get you to take me on a long date.” You can’t stop the errant tears slipping down your cheeks, but you don’t break into sobs. “I really, I really do want to go, I do, I-.”

“It’s okay, it is.” His voice is quiet and soothing. His knuckles are white and for a second you’re afraid he really is angry at you, but when you look up into his eyes he doesn’t look mad at all. “What happened today?”

“She showed up,” you look away. “Looked around. Found something in your closet, but didn’t take anything.”

“… Did she hit you?”

Looking down at the floor you nod. You can hear Thatch suck in a breath, but he doesn’t yell.

“Can I see it?” He asks again. “I won’t be mad, I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” He says as you slowly start to come away from the table leg. “I’m not mad at you, I promise.”

You swallow thickly. “I… I haven’t gotten a chance to look at it.” You feel something slip down your cheek, and reach up as you turn toward Thatch. Your face is still gummy.

Thatch grimaces, but hides it quickly. “Don’t touch it, just c’mere.” There’s a strained urgency in his voice, but you decide to listen to him instead of worry. Being directed is easy. You’re good at following instructions, if nothing else.

Thatch holds your chin gingerly, moving your head to the side to get a better look and then gets you both on your feet.

“I think it gummed up against the table leg and opened back up a little when you moved away from it.” He explains, and when you start to turn toward the table he stops you. “It’s alright, Doll. It’ll wash off the table, I ain’t worried about that. I got a full first aid kit in the kitchen. Come stand by the sink, we’ll get this cleaned up and bandaged.”

You let Thatch guide you into the kitchen, he turns the water on, putting a bowl and some ice under the stream, and dips a clean kitchen towel into the cold water. Holding your chin carefully, he dabs it, trying to clean things up without making the scratches bleed again.

“She got you good.” He tries to say it lightly, but the frown on his face is putting wrinkles in his brow. “What the hell happened?”

“She said you threatened her.” You say as Thatch continues to clean your face. “Called you… called you names and I said she was wrong.” You can feel your face heating up and you look away. You can still see the smile on Thatch’s face.

“I suppose I should thank you for defending my honor.” He says, a teasing lilt in his voice. “I’m touched you talked back to your mom for my sake.”

“… She doesn’t deserve to know you.” You feel Thatch flinch and look over to see his face is pink.

“Warn a guy before you compliment him like that.” He grins, wringing out the towel and going back to cleaning up your face. “I think that’s as good as it’s gonna get. The ointment might sting a bit, but it should reduce the risk of scarring.”

“… Sorry.”

“Hm? For what? If this scars I’m not going to be mad.” He assures you. “I’d be a real bastard if I was okay with my own scars and not yours.”

“Porcelain is no good cracked.” You say the words monotonously, and Thatch freezes for a moment.

“You’re not that kind of doll.” He says, applying the ointment carefully. “You’re not made of silk and stone, (Y/N). You’re not filled full of cotton, or whatever it is they put in fine porcelain dolls. You’re flesh and blood and bone like me.

“Pops says I’m just a big teddy bear. It’s a kind of doll, yeah? I wouldn’t mind bein’ a set of dolls with you. I almost lost one of my button eyes.” He says, tapping the scar on his face, changing the subject before he gets too sappy. “I’da looked pretty dashing with an eye patch, yeah?”

You smile a little, and Thatch grins. Shaking your head, you speak a little faster than you think.

“No, your eyes are beautiful, I-.” You put a hand over your mouth and turn away.

“Ah, ah, wait!” Thatch follows you, a bandage in his hands. “Don’t move for a second there, let me get this on.” He says, placing the patch on your cheek and patting down the edges so the adhesive sticks better. “There, now you can be all embarrassed.”

You manage a soft laugh despite everything, but hiss sharply as you put your hand on the counter to steady yourself. You and Thatch look down at the same time and you realize your wrist is swollen and already starting to turn nasty colors.

“Are you sure nothing’s broken?” Thatch questions, gingerly lifting your hand up to the light over the sink to get a better look. Your arm looks so small in his hands, it’s at odds with how careful he’s being in your mind.

Your mother’s words echo in your mind and you don’t doubt how true they could be. No one would doubt that Thatch could harm you. Anyone with half a brain could see that he would rather break himself than you, however. Even you understood that.

You move your wrist and wiggle your fingers. It hurts, but it’s not the kind of sharp pain you’d expect from a broken wrist bone.

“Pretty sure.”

“Well… we can go to the hospital and have them x-ray it to be sure. Ah, I need to call the shop, let me do that.”

“You don’t have to stay.” You say and Thatch shakes his head.

“They have a key to the apartment, I’m not leaving you here alone.” He says it with such finality you can’t think of anything to say in response. “Angel, great! No, I’m not going to be back today. If you have to close early that’s okay. Something important came up… Huh? No no, don’t dock anything, just put the hours in as scheduled. Give Moda a call first though, she might be able to come in and help… Good, yeah, thanks.”

Thatch hangs up, leans down and kisses the top of your head before dialing another number. “It’s gonna be alright, don’t worry.” He says it softly before turning his attention back to the phone. “Hey, Marco, do you know if Hongo’s down at General Hospital today? … He is? Good. There anything I need to say to — Oh, you’ll meet us there, sure thing brother. I gotta give Pops a call, but we’ll be on our way in a few… Nah, I’ll tell you when we get there. Later.”

“Um?” You prompt and Thatch smiles.

“I’m going to make sure my brother’s friend Hongo tends to you at the hospital. He’ll make notes in the charts without getting the marines involved, so don’t worry. I want to have dinner at Pops’ tonight, you think you can handle that?”

“Handle?”

“A lot’s happened today, and if you don’t want to be around everyone else, I won’t force you, but I gotta talk to Pops about this.” He explains.

“No, I - uh, people are…” You shake your head. “I’m used to people, it’s okay. You said that his home is the safest place.”

Thatch smiles. “It is.”

“If I’m not here and my parents show up tomorrow…”

“You’ll be here tomorrow. I’m going to get Izou or Marco to come over and just make sure you’re not alone. I’ll have to leave probably. Ugh, this is why I want to go over tonight. I’m no good at this subterfuge and legal stuff.” He admits. “Pops and the others are better at it.”

“But…” You pause, brows knit in confusion. Thatch waits and you shake your head. “I don’t understand why, but I trust you, so let’s do what you want to do about this.” You look down at your hands, your wrist throbbing in greeting. “I’m not good at making decisions.”

“You don’t have to be. Not right now.” He corrects. “We’ll get you there.”

You want to ask how, or why. Wouldn’t it be easier for him if you just did what he wanted you to do, but you don’t get a chance to ask as he dials his father, and his attention is on the phone again.

“Hey Pops. We’re going to come over for dinner tonight, okay?” He says it evenly, like there’s nothing else going on, but you get the sense his father already knows. “No, no, don’t rush. I’m meeting Marco and Hongo down at the general first. We’ll be there a while… Yeah, she’s… she’s gonna be okay. I’ll tell you everything when we get there tonight… Yeah, sure thing Pops. Bye.”

Thatch hangs up the phone and takes another breath. “Okay, lets head over to the hospital- Hey, wait, have you eaten today?”

“I had a light breakfast.”

“Hm… Okay, we’re closer than Marco, even leaving later, so let’s stop and get some wraps on the way.” Thatch says. “It’s nice out, so after we park in the lot we can sit in the sun and eat before we go in.”

He holds out his hand, specifically to hold your uninjured hand. “Can you make it to the car? I can carry you if you want.”

“No I… my legs are…” You tilt your head, and then shake it. “I can walk.”

“I wouldn’t mind carrying you.” He says with a grin, still just holding out his hand.

“You’re… you’re really not mad?”

“Huh? At you? Not even a little.” He assures you.

“But I-.”

Thatch kneels down on one knee in front of you. He’s barely shorter than you this way, and he reaches out, putting a hand on your arm softly. “We’ll be able to talk more on this, but I promise, I’m not mad at you.”

Pressing your lips together you look down. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Thatch leans forward and catches himself, patting your arm softly before he stands up. “C’mon, we need to get something to eat and get to the hospital before we leave Marco waiting there all day.”

[fightabear]

okay i just got home from atlantic entertainment expo and i need to share the highlight of my con. also hi @amtrax i cannot believe you found me here

so! last year i started tabling at conventions. last year's Atlantic Entertainment Expo was my first one ever. i absolutely love doing this and getting to meet fellow creatives, and i try to make it a point to create something for creators & actors whose work really impacted me as a way of giving back. and like it feels like (to me, this is not reflective of reality but the imposter syndrome) giving a teacher a stick figure drawing they're just going to put on the fridge. but it's the smallest way to show appreciation for the work they've done that's made my life better.

the second i heard that austin lee matthews, motorcycle master of midgar himself, was coming to one of my local conventions up here in the ass end of canada, i was excited. immediately knew i had to make something special because roche was one of my very favorite things about remake and i'll quote his big bombastic speech patterns when i'm trying to psyche myself up to deal with difficult clients at the day job.

so i make my little roche charms, set one aside and keep it on me, and go about my con weekend - and end up being so busy i can't slip away. i check his table a few times when its slow but i keep missing him, so i just resolve to get it to him tomorrow or send one of my friends.

and an important part of this story is i am terrible with recognizing people from photographs. like... once i actually meet someone in person that information is locked and loaded but i don't remember faces from photo promos.

(i have a story where i didn't recognize adam croasdell who stopped by to talk to me during setup last year, which was my first year of doing cons & i was so busy trying to get everything set up and i didn't recognize him because i was so deep in 'oh god what am i doing' and that is going to haunt me)

near to the end of the day i'm working on a client's commission and someone comes up to my table and waits incredibly patiently as i'm trying to muddle through some EOD burnout. sometimes people just come up and watch me draw so it can be kind of hard to tell if someone's just vibing or waiting for my attention (and my helper had disappeared into the ether so i was Very Whelmed) so when i finally turn, incredibly apologetic and awkward because oh god they were so patient and were waiting way too long, this guy is still beaming. i'm just like! i'm so sorry, is there anything i can help you with? and he just grins and says,

"oh i just wanted to come by and say," and then immediately drops into the roche voice, "HELLO MY FRIEND!"

AND WHEN I TELL YOU I LOSE IT. i immediately apologize to the client because i just need to give this man the thing i made, so i grab the charm and offer it and just start gushing. we get to chat a little bit - i don't even remember i was just so excited - but i have a client waiting. so i assume he's going to disappear into the crowd because - this is taking so much time.

but austin just stands there as i finish the commission... which takes longer than planned! i don't even know how long he was there. he's super supportive the entire time, making comments about my art, and when the commission is done and the client leaves.

so! he buys a vincent charm and then shows me the adorable promptis print he bought from another table and is just like a goddamn ray of sunshine the entire time. he also tipped which he absolutely did not need to do. again - incredibly enthusiastic and excited just to be there and be around fellow fans. it made my entire weekend. we get to talk a little more before i text my next one to let them know i'm ready for them.

i didn't get nearly as much time as i wanted to because man if someone every radiated golden retriever best friend energy, it's austin. literally everyone i spoke to who interacted with him was so taken.

he stopped by again near the end of the day yesterday when i had a line again so i didn't get to talk, but then he dropped that he'd found my tumblr (i'm sure my face was a perfect mask of horror, i pretend to be a professional artist & adult on twitter and here is where i radiate my feral rat gremlin energy) and i am going to finish the extra surprise i was working on and add more to it because - sincerely - made my convention and turned what could have been a very stressful situation into a wonderful memory. my literal only regret is that i forgot my ultimanias at home (along with half of my setup, crying into my hands) because i wanted to get those signed.

Austin, i will bring my awkward ass to your dms once i've recovered from con crunch, but sincerely if you are ever on PEI or get the hankering to go during the summer season, please hit me up. my family has a little cottage by the beach (not to be confused with a cabin in the woods) that is welcome and free for friends to use (in the least parasocial way possible, welcome to the island. after like two good conversations with someone you're buddies). i love the island, i love sharing what i love about it, and i hope this weekend made it clear that the island loves you.

( also if you ever have any art needs that require... whatever in the hell my style is please know i am here )

my god. i cannot emphasize how much i love doing conventions. the vibes, the excitement, all of the connections. realizing people are getting to be regulars and i recognize them from con to con and i get to ask them about how their year was while i draw and get to celebrate the good and try to offer whatever i can to balance out the bad.

my heart is so full right now.

also!! if anyone is still reading this rambling post, please check out @palletteknife. this isn't final fantasy related i am just absolutely obsessed with their work and spent like all sunday showing people this fantastic carrie charm they made ITS SO CUTE AND HORRIFYING AND THE STYLE IS AMAZING

[jackwolfes]

hi! thank you so much for all the fics you write and share i don’t think i’ve ever read one i didn’t completely love!!! I have a request, if you’re open to it: wesper are now making out after lots of pining-as-friends, and jesper can’t shut up about how hot he thinks wylan is, how excited he is, he realizes he’s maybe over sharing or coming on too strong but he cannot help it!!!

you're very sweet darling 🥺 also this was very cute ty for requesting it!!

“Saints,” Jesper whispers. 

Wylan nods, hands still scrambling over the soft fabric covering Jesper’s chest. He’s still half-reclined over the end of the sofa Jesper found him on an hour ago. The one where it all finally came out, that little crush Jesper’s been hiding for weeks — months, maybe a year, he isn’t sure — bitten back by a boy that didn’t want to risk this friendship he had except it all just burst — 

It doesn’t matter, apparently. He’d blurted it all out with a mortifying amount of honesty and Wylan, wide eyed, had just… 

His lips part, firm enough that Jesper’s do the same against his guiding touch. They both groan into each other’s mouths, terribly uncivilised and absolutely wonderful. Wylan had done exactly what he’s doing now, yanking him close to kiss him stupid. It was an answer in itself that Jesper is now cherishing. 

He really, really likes it.

“Saints,” Jesper repeats, “You’re— mm—"

Wylan hums, nodding again. His hands have stopped their frenetic dance, deciding instead to grip tight to Jesper’s sweater. He uses his grip to pull him closer, and Jesper does not mind. 

“I’ve— shit, Wy— mm—”

Wylan pulls away. Jesper blinks. That is the opposite of what he wanted to happen. “What?” 

Jesper swallows. Is his face hot? He thinks so. Wylan’s is flushed a beautiful bright pink. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for months,” he admits. 

Slowly, Wylan nods. “Okay,” he says, “then kiss me.” 

Jesper does. 

He leans down, still mostly hovering over Wylan, eagerly sinking into the feeling of his best friend’s soft hands on his chest. He grazes his teeth over Wylan’s bottom lip, relishing the little gasp he gets for his trouble and using the opportunity to sink his tongue into his mouth. Wylan squirms beneath Jesper. His body is so warm. His lips, kissing Jeper back like he’s starving, are even warmer. Jesper wants to pull away and just appreciate the sight of him, knowing that his lips will be slick and his body will be flushed, ust like he knows that he’s wanted to see Wylan like this for weeks. Months. Maybe even a year. 

“Saints,” Jesper gasps, “you’re so— so—“

Wylan lifts his hands and settles them around Jesper’s neck, linking his fingers together and yanking Jesper close. It makes Jesper gasp, a muffled noise swallowed by Wylan’s kiss. It’s unsubtle, that eager request for more, and Jesper wants so badly to indulge him. He thinks now that he has wanted this for over a year. For decades. For his entire life, perhaps, because how can anyone not want Wylan? Gorgeous Wylan, funny Wylan, excellent kisser Wylan—  

“Wylan,” he sighs, still thinking about how he could possibly finish that sentence. You’re gorgeous, or perhaps, how are you such a good kisser, or even— “Saints, you’re so— mm— hot.”

Quietly, he hears Wylan chuckle. “Says you,” he murmurs. 

“Yeah, says me. You’re—” 

Wylan cuts him off with another kiss, muffling his words and making Jesper hum. Maybe he’s moaning. He doesn’t care. From the feeling of it, Wylan doesn’t either. 

“Wy—”

“Jes,” Wylan whispers, “stop talking.” 

Jesper nods. A good, sensible idea. 

He kisses Wylan one more time and gets a low moan for his trouble, something delicious and beautiful. Jesper sinks into the feeling of his lips sliding over Wylan’s. They’re so soft.  They’re so— perfect. They’re indicative of every wonderful thing Jesper loves about Wylan, this beautiful boy that against all odds wants to kiss him too. Jesper can’t make sense of the fact Wylan wants to kiss him back but he does, evidenced by the hot press of his tongue against the seam of Jesper’s mouth, pressing between his lips and running along the line of his teeth. 

“Fuck,” Jesper breathes out, “I can’t get over how fucking hot you—“

Wylan’s hands against his shoulder are insistent and, before Jesper can make sense of it, he’s being shoved backwards to sit on his heels. He goes, breathing heavily, taking in the heady sight of Wylan spit-slicked and blushing. 

“What are—”

“I’ve wanted to kiss you for months,” Wylan blurts. “Oh, Ghezen, I want to kiss you so badly I can’t think. Please stop talking so I can kiss you.” 

Jesper’s face heats, gently mortified. “Sorry.” 

“Don’t you dare,” Wylan says. “Saints, you’re— such a good kisser.” 

“Even though I keep talking?” Jesper asks. 

Wylan nods, eyes still a little wide. “I can’t think straight with you looking like that.”

“Like what?” 

“Like that.” Fruitlessly, Wylan gestures at all of Jesper’s body. He shuts his eyes, flush still blooming like a rose on his pale skin. “Ghezen help me, I can’t believe you want to kiss me.” 

Jesper smiles softly, terribly pleased. “Course I do,” he murmurs. “Have you seen yourself?” 

Softly, Wylan groans. “Ghezen help me,” he mutters, voice weak and wonderfully him. It makes Jesper laugh. 

“Want to kiss me again?” Jesper asks, feeling bold.

Wylan sits up, crawling forward till Jesper gets the hint and settles back. He allows Wylan to take the lead, watching him clamber up till he’s sitting on Jesper’s lap. It is a very, very good position to be in. The weight of him straddling Jesper’s thighs, the warmth, the closeness. Jesper adores it all. How lucky he is.

Softly, Wylan kisses his lips once more.  

“I never want to stop kissing you,” he whispers. 

Jesper is very okay with that, too.

[rockingrobin69]

some-day-wip-snip

Thank you for tagging me, @mintawasalreadytaken and @orange-peony! I’m back to working on my housemates SEVERE PINING fic, brimming with so much excitement I literally cannot bear it, so, here’s a snip! Featuring: shenanigans, baking, and a tiny, mysterious dog-shaped item.

One night Harry came back late, terrible week, got stuck at the office in a useless meeting till his eyes nearly popped out. Took the bus home with his face scrunched, the beginning of a headache simmering behind his eyebrows, miserable and tired and utterly depressed to think that tomorrow would be the same, and the day after, and the day after it.

Walked in the kitchen and had to rub his eyes. Rubbed them again for good measure. The image didn’t change; all the bowls he owned stacked one on top of the other on every available surface, counter caked with flour, fingerprints in butter on all the cupboards, and in the dead centre, Malfoy, wearing an apron and his slanted, weird smile.

“Harry!” like this was the most normal thing in the universe. “You’re back! We thought you might never return. I set out to make my grandmother’s fabled biscuits, but, alas, as you can tell, the endeavour’s not been entirely successful. Yet.”

Too many questions and not enough air. The nearly-headache swirled in blacks and golds behind his eyelids. “Malfoy,” trying to breathe it out, “what… who’s we?”

“Hmm?”

“You said we were worried. Who’s here? Is it Ginny?” because he’s going to bloody—

“Oh! No, Ginevra is out of town, has a match tomorrow. I meant me and Crumpet.” He picked up something small and silvery and waved it about, weird smile trickling slowly into something else, unsure. “I named him Crumpet. Hope you don’t mind.”

Harry stared and stared and still got nothing. “Is that… what is that?”

“I think they’re for serviettes,” Malfoy presented the offending object on a flour-covered palm; a tiny, dog-shaped… thing. “Possibly cutlery. There’s a set of six in the bottom drawer, I was looking for a sieve. Is that okay?”

Must have seen something in Harry’s face, because he came closer.

Harry choked on nothing. “Didn’t even know we had them. Must’ve been my parents’. Or Sirius’s, maybe. I have a lot of crap all around that I never really get to… erm.”

Malfoy’s hand did a funny little dance, like it wanted to touch him, then remembered it was covered in butter and goo. Ended up scratching his nose, leaving a fine smudge behind.

“I shouldn’t be sneaking around, using your things. I can get my own, should get my own utensils.”

“Don’t be daft,” Harry rolled his eyes, tried to get this silly fizzing in his belly to stop. “You can use anything that’s in here. I wouldn’t even know we had them if you didn’t… so that’s Crumpet, then? Did you name them all?”

Malfoy’s bottom lip was between his teeth, one pierced eyebrow hiked up. “No, not yet. We had some serious business to attend to first, Crumpet and I. The third batch is actually meant to be ready soon, so why don’t you grab a shower and come back for some—hopefully, biscuits? Worst case, Asda’s own?”

He laughed, couldn’t help it. “Third batch?”

“Ah,” did Malfoy just wink? “Such the detective, Mr. Potter. The first batch we won’t even mention, the consistency was the single most disgusting thing I’ve seen, horrifying to think I made it with my own two hands. Apparently Nana forgot to mention some pretty crucial details when relaying the recipe—that, or the ever simpler answer, my mother is a cunt.”

“Oh.” Malfoy’s expression sharpened around the edges, devilish and handsome, and he ran a floury hand through his hair.

“Then came the second batch. Did you know, Harry, that baking requires absolute precision? And if, say, one was to go, ‘ah, fuck it’, then baking soda can become quite the vindictive bitch?”

Harry tapped the corners of his grin. “And the flour explosion? What happened there?”

“That,” Malfoy tutted, “is the result of some poor training on my part, I’m afraid. You see, Crumpet wasn’t quite ready for all the tricks—”

“You’re not seriously going to blame a three-inch placeholder for this, are you?”

“Aha!” finger pointing up in victory. “I knew you’d know what these are! Placeholders, then. How fancy. We shall have to throw a feast to display them.”

Laughing, laughing, what else could he do, rubbing the wispy remains of a headache from his forehead. “You’re an idiot. And you’re going to clean this, Malfoy, or so help me.”

“Of course, of course,” in a tone that suggested he had absolutely no intention to, not a chance. “They are good, though. The biscuits. In theory. Mother would always make them when she knew I’d—used them as bribes, probably, to be honest. But I thought, might be nice, seeing as your week is so disgustingly busy. It’s the only one of her recipes I remember. And poorly, at that.”

Harry’s eyes were still tingling, but he could see the look on Malfoy’s face. Recognised the feeling, he thought. This weird drop in your belly when you realise how very lost something is to you. Finding something you loved, irretrievable.

“Hey. They better be good. I mean it, Malfoy. Crumpet and I will be very disappointed in anything less.”

Malfoy rolled his eyes. “Don’t tell me you’re now in cahoots with my three-inch placeholder pet.”

“Pretty sure Crumpet’s still my three-inch placeholder pet, ta very much.”

He gave a little bow, then came closer. “My apologies for the disrespect, Mr. Potter. Master? Sir Potter. Please accept this as token of my most genuine regret.” When he unclenched his hand, there was only a second or two to realise what was happening and try to escape. Harry didn’t.

Ended up with his face full of flour, pinched from the counter. “Malfoy!” indignant and shaky on laughter, “you fucking bastard, come back here—”

Chased him around the kitchen, like children, like idiots, tackled him behind the table to smear his face full of—caster sugar, flour, whatever he could find, and Malfoy was squirming in his hands, roaring with laughter, fighting tooth and nail to push Harry back, and when that didn’t work, to lick him away (“UGH!”), laughing, laughing, laughing.

They only let up when the timer went off. Both disgusting, breathless, and Harry was still panting when Malfoy pushed him out to the corridor, yelled at him to take a shower. Rushed back down to find the kitchen still a mess, and two cups of tea, and a trayful of cooling biscuits.

Malfoy snuck a tub of them in his work bag the next day. They really were quite good.

If you got all the way here, kudos to you, and you are now IT! Share a snip with us, will you? And tag me!!

[planet-crait]

Pattys Possum Party Playground is next!

Winns excitement is so cute I love it. I get the vibe this is kind of making fun of places like Chuck E Cheese as shows love doing these days. Gotta admit though the possum thing is making me think of Lester’s Possum Park (if you understand the reference please be friends with me).

Those tunnels would be absolute hell to clean I promise I once worked at a fast food place with a play area with tunnels and. It was pure hell just trust me on this one. Why would anyone play that claw machine if everyone knows it’s rigged.

Wait why broccoli? Why would that taste good with the other stuff in it?

Ah here we go Timmy model is back. They really like using that model for some reason. I uh how did Cosmo LOSE HIS LEGS??? I have so many questions. I swear they act less like humans every episode we see them as humans and I just don’t get it.

Winn you are so cute your excitement is adorable but kiddo. Like all but one animatronic is just not there. The signs are hilarious though. I’m surprised the show went on despite them all being MIA. I hope we don’t get FNAF shenanigans here I will die. In a bad way. Of fear. Those things creep me the fuck out.

Even the turtle is gone noooo they would have been my fave. Aww poor Winn the nostalgia goggles have fallen off. Lowkey though? It is devastating to return to a place you once adored and find it’s just. Not the same as it was when you were a kid and all the magic is gone because of greed. A terrible feeling and even worse seeing a ten year old dealing with it.

Yeah uh Hazel has a point their guys shrinking isn’t playing fair but if they’re riggged can you play fair? Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no. I’m afraid yall. Nothings happened yet but brining an animatronic to life is a VERY BAD IDEA.

Why is Winn thanking Hazel? How do they know she was involved? COSMO AND WANDA LOST THEIR WANDS??? Oh no. They’re all dead. This is a kids show but they’re so dead.

Aww I think only Dev isn’t there, I thought he and Hazel made up. That makes me sad. Winn is having a great time though. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Also just realized this wish was in the intro lolz. Wait wait uhhhh why would the claw machine closing make them close the shop early?

Ah there it is. Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no.

Possum food again???? Uhh how? Cosmo??? I have questions so many questions. Also funny that she doesn’t care about Cosmo and Wanda.

Guys that’s not a very good hiding spot. Oh the tunnels are maybe better lolz but not much. Oh Hazels dad is so funny with how much he’s panicking over being thirty seconds late.

I don’t why but then hiding in the tunnels is giving me Bendy and The Dark Revival vibes and I cannot explain why besides vibes. (Bendy is different from FNAF don’t ask why just. Don’t I can’t explain it).

How does she fit in the tunnels? Adults can’t normally fit in them lolZ. Guys maybe stop talking you’ll reveal where you’re hiding. See having Dev would help cuz Peri could wish this away. Unless his parents took his wand to get their wands back lolz.

Wait talking fixed things? Really? Okay then. I mean it’s all good stuff like friends can be apart and still be friends so not a bad lesson. But uh she got over her abandonment issues fast. Hazel. Maybe you should still unwish this wish just for giggles maybe?

Oh I don’t like that ending at all. This Timmy is very very dead I feel.

Overall a fine episode I guess? I feel so bad for Dev though and I know things will only get worse for the poor kid. Give the poor kid friends dang it!

[fitzselfships]

I'm so sorry to vent again but. Man. I have been Super not okay all day

I've been paranoid all day that people are making fun of me behind my back for being super into my main self ship or that people secretly hate me. I've been so scared because of this that I've been sick for the entire day pretty much. There is literally no evidence to prove any kf this is true but again my paranoia has been so bad I can't make myself believe that it's not true

Not only have I been paranoid I've been feeling extremely depressed and numb and empty and I can't make it stop. I'm to the point now that I'm questioning if Zooble would even love me. My mental illness stuff is getting so bad anymore (and I cannot get help for it) that I don't know how even a fictional character could love me

I'm already scared of being abandoned by them. I worry sometimes that if they were real they'd want someone who's skinny and pretty and feminine and that they'd leave me for someone else as soon as they get the chance. I feel so stupid for feeling this way because like. They're a fictional character and cannot leave me but again my mental health has been absolutely terrible recently so combating these thoughts are Very hard for me most of the time

I'm really sorry for this. I try my best not to be too open about my mental illness stuff but just. So much has happened today to validate my fears of being abandoned for someone else and in general making things worse and getting this all out is the only thing making me feel even slightly better. Not even watching my fave streamer was helping me feel any better so that should probably give an idea of how bad everything is right now lol

Anyway again I'm so sorry for talking about this but like. I'm so tired of feeling this way and neither me or my former therapist can make this psychiatrist see me so idk what to do. It sucks :[

[shittyelfwriter]

ALRIGHTY here we are at weeks three and four for the santa clauses series! I did not rewatch a second time because genuinely, these melted my brain. anyway, lets get into it below the cut!

So apparently according to the tsc tag, episode 3 that I missed last week is a sort of filler episode? OH BROTHER REALLY

Normally I would not complain bc I miss old format, 20-23 episode series but because I know this Isn't That? DREAD. how are you going to plot well and good in 7-8eps if some are filler? that is just SO condensed, my guy

Counterpoint to people who were sad about it but: I thought the teen romance was annoying and I'm GLAD they ended it even JUST for a bit (it will come back to haunt again, trust. It’s a disney series ffs.) Whoever is writing this needs to ask a teen about how they talk nowadays. This is not it.

I also think we're driving the whole "Buddy is terrible at everything" punchline WAY past its breaking point. Which I would argue was last season entirely, but. At the very latest, last episode with how heavy on cringe it was. Yes, EVEN for kids/teens.

Again, they are not antagonizing Magnus Antas enough for me to hate him. waaaaay too funny to be a villain. I can't take him seriously and DON'T want to

The way that Noel keeps sideyeing the Betty cutout as if to say "do you see this shit?" during his brunch with the Clauses SENT me tbh. That's bernelle coded and I love it

I do not know why Disney gets OFF on the Clauses being absolutely inept parents but I wish they would stop

SHOUTOUT JUDY OMG JUDY'S ACTRESS THAT’S JUDY JUDY IS HERE YOU GUYS (SCREAMINGGGG)

LOVING the exterior shots of the workshop and Elfsburg. As someone who has POURED over all available screenshots from the movies of those I am LIVING for new angles (even though I do NOT think bernelle would live that close to the Workshop, but it doesn't seem like Betty and Noel can POOF like Bman and Elle can (and do))

I don't know why there are TWO instances of a "misspoken turn of phrase" in this episode but neither were funny and TWO OF THEM was REALLY bad

CHUBBY BUNNY DID NOT EXIST THAT LONG AGO. NOT IN MAGNUS ANTAS' TIME. THAT WAS AN INTERNET FAD LESS THAN TEN YEARS AGO. WHAT ARE WE DOING DUDE. WHAT ARE THESE WRITERS ON (it's not good, I don't want some)

Crossing guard callback? For what? (okay, shrug I GUESS dot meme)

Why does this specific franchise always have to make EB SO WEIRD. WHY. Nothing about this is funny it's just off-putting. Just like the previous EB flirting with Carol's MARRIED MOM in tsc3

This Carol and La Befana scene was actually very good. LOVE it when they actually just let the characters be HONEST with each other. Women supporting women core. Even if Carol's reason for being mad at her was really shallow and obviously stems form Carol's lack of identity as Mrs. Claus because they just cannot wrap that plot point from last season up.

THE LETTERS DEPARTMENT. It looks dope but HATE the explanation for it. Half assed as hell. WARNING! Rant incoming: like from what I know a LOT of postal services have little lore stories about how they get the letters to Santa. WHY COULDNT WE JUST SAY THERE ARE AGREEMENTS BETWEEN SANTA AND OTHER ADULT PEOPLE WHO KEEP THE SPIRIT ALIVE FOR OTHERS AS WELL? Why is this series so obsessed with making everything only powered by magic and never by others (yes, humans) who want to keep the spirit alive as well? It feels like magic is being used as an "explain it all away" crutch narratively. Even in season 1, the "solution" to mass consumerism wasn't for people to be kind to each other and do little things to keep the magical parts of Christmas alive, it was to show the world that magic was real. Season 2 so far, the answer to everything is also just magic. I'm hoping that maybe the B plot with Kris will touch on this. Because as it stands right now, it feels like the writers are talking out of both sides of their mouth. Commercial Christmas is bad, but Kris is a loser for having a Santa theme park. Like?? Homogenization of Christmas is the Big Bad at large, but also up at the Pole they are trying to find ways to do the same thing to be "current". CHRISTMAS IS MULTIFACTED. It is both secular and religious! That is OKAY, I don't even think "woke" people are arguing about that. Sheesh.

Can't believe I'm micro rambling IN my ramble post. New achievement unlocked omg

The way Magnus Antas picks up on modern slang so quickly practically puts Scott to shame. Good for him

AGAIN, the misturn of phrase jokes. DEAD. Not funny. STOP

If they are going to make Sandra so op that she can just Wanda Maximoff chaos magic "I just say something when I'm mad and it happens, anything I want with no negative impact on me" I will not find that swag. That is in fact Mary Sue territory, lads

Sandra's little outburst @ La Befana was giving magical nepo baby for a moment there. Oof. "Too bad I'm just naturally more skilled than you even though I'm new and you've been a witch forever" girl SHUT. UP. You are like a little baby. Also that is so mad disrespectful like no WONDER La Befana is wanting you to slow tf down. You fly off the handle WAY to easily and we ALL know you lose control when you do! Okay loose cannon! Werk!

Riley. Girl. "we never see each other" you were just up at the Pole?? Like. OFTEN?? This is so stupid of a breakup but they are teenagers so go off kids, be dysfunctional or what have you. Rah rah, as Jack would say

Episode four now, lord help us. God has cursed me for my (loving this one Christmas movie series) hubris and my work (watching it's hellish series spin off) is never finished

"Reversing a transformation is never a guarantee" what is this La Befana? the Sims? Sounds like transformation ray odds. Magic is not THAT unpredictable, even by in-universe logic

CURTIS-ITIS!??? CURTIS FUCKING EXPLODED??

ARE YOU SO FUCKING FR RN. SO BERNARD IS MARRIED TO A SENIOR CITIZEN AND CURTIS. FUCKIN VAPORIZED?? FROM STRESS? WHAT'S NEXT? Lemme guess, Judy joined the circus. Quintin is a crypto investor or works for Tesla. WHAT ARE WE D O I N G

Not Scott moving the scissors like he's afraid Buddy will shank him or others?? SIR

SANDMAN AHHHHHHHHHH HELLO SIR /POS :D

So they just con him? As though that's a long term solutio-- OH MY GOD NOT SCOTT USING SANDMAN'S SAND ON SANDMAN HIMSELF?? that's ILLEGALE?? According to tsc3 lore: "We legendaries can't use magic on each other?" I am so bewildered by the level of retcon occurring before my very eyes at BREAKNECK speed

Sandra doesn't need magic she needs THERAPY for her ANGER ISSUES bruh. Damn. She doesn't need a rage room (in someone's house too I might add? okayyyy) she needs to learn to process like a normal human being wtf

Scott being able to look like his normal self whenever he wants and they just didn't tell him? For like. 25 years? Like its clear that by the series standards, the elves think he's a total moron. But it pendulums hard and fast between "haha funny joke" and "damn they really think he ain't shit, huh"

Edie being a fashion diva is such a serve she's grown on me this season ngl

"I had to teach him how to do all the Legendaries jobs" Scott I know you're waffling, absolutely FUMBLING but what the FUCKKKKK is that excuse??? What's Cal going to do? Be EVERY Legendary? TERRIBLE AWFUL HATE IT UNINSPIRED. Not to mention, SOME OF THE OTHER LEGENDARIES MIGHT NOT TAKE THAT NEWS WELL. Some might even feel THREATENED

"The man I die for in my sleep every night" UM? Noel? You okay there bud? Holy heck

THE PURPLE JACKET IS SWAG AND SCOTT IS A HATER. HE CANNOT SEE THE VISION

Do you guys think according to this new lore Edie made Jack's suit? because me thinks PERHAPS

Magnus Antas is kind of popping off, damn. Like I think if the gnomes hadn’t given him MAJOR delusions of grandeur and an ego trip, he could have stayed totally a vibe. But stop giving the Santas snow powers and reconning Jack holy SHIT dude. First Scott now him? HATE IT

The way they made Scott and Cal look when "invisible" is Not a Good Look heck. Its like a bad picsart filter

These Scott visions. I get why, its through the Santa magic, right? But dang its corny

So Scott knows Magnus Antas is back now. Okay. They got away from him. Lost visual on Olga, have a bad feeling she somehow sneaked into the sleigh. Weird cliffhanger but EVERY episode has been like that so far

Final thoughts: I feel like they're definitely trying to make this season take itself less seriously, but I feel like the trade off is that the writers are taking too many liberties for diversions from source material and are therefore, losing the plot entirely and retconning movie lore at will and convenience. Tl;dr, it's messy. Concepts are fun until things just become so irreverent they fall apart or lean into entirely unfunny territory. Which is just a hallmark of T*m All*n brand humor, tee em, but you know.

It feels like this series is doing everything and nothing. It wants woke points, but immediately doubles back and makes fun of those same things. It wants us to feel empathy for these characters, and immediately makes them insufferable. I am so confused as to what the takeaway is supposed to be. It all feels so poorly executed--the series retcons itself constantly, not to mention the movies. I want it to be fun, and to take it at surface value, but if you know literally anything about the movies, that becomes a challenge to do. I'm just so confused dude.

I will be shocked if this gets a third season. Truly.

Also, I miss Betty too, Noel. Wish this whole season was about HER shenanigans, instead.

So. See you all next week then?

[hecckyeah]

Hello there!! I'm here to ask: what were your thoughts on the Rookie season finale?

HEY FRIEND!

Oh ho ho do I have some Thoughts™ for you.

Once again I'm going to break this up into Chenford and Non-Chenford

.

Starting off with Non-Chenford!!

First off, I had a hard time seeing this as the season finale because of the whole 10 episodes thing, so wrapping my head around that is still..... Just sad. I feel like there were so many different directions they could have taken the season, but it is what it is, and I'm trying to see the good parts for what they are :)

One of the weirdest things this season was probably the whole Bailan having a child thing (or not???) and the way the finale tried to handle that was just..... weird.

I mean maybe it is because I'm biased against Bailan (I really cannot stand them) but the writers are doing too much. They were established as a specifically child-free couple, and since we already have multiple couples with kids and we're all rooting for the same thing for Chenford (also has been foreshadowed for them), I feel like this is just the same storyline over and over again. Maybe instead of trying to introduce a new kid for Nolan, maybe (and this is kind of far fetched) get back to the son he already has, and maybe add some grandkids??? idk, just seems like Bailan as grandparents instead of new parents has lots of comedic potential and it's something that hasn't been done yet.

Oh yeah, and on that same note-- the whole Oscar and Jason situation?? Totally unnecessary and odd. I like Oscar as comedy relief behind bars, but not anywhere else. The dude has caused enough mayhem from inside prison, I don't need him galavanting around anywhere. The writers seem desperate to beat that dead horse.

(man okay apparently I had more beef with this season than I thought I did. trying to dial it back a little bit now)

So, to me the whole finale just felt very . . . patchwork. That's the only way I can describe it, truly. It's like a bunch of pieces were stitched together to create some sort of ending to a very stitched-together season.

Argentina?? Love the concept of it if it was fleshed out but cannot deal with the execution. It was SO sudden. Absolutely zero warning. Why Argentina specifically?? And why is Nolan not literally in an Argentinian prison somewhere for his disobedience? Who let him get away scot-free again?

Although I will say, Monica high-tailing it into the middle of absolutely nowhere, prancing through cactuses and brush in high heels, is genuinely the funniest thing this show has done all season.

I'm feeling a whole lot of vindication toward Blair London, as I think we all are! Had a funny feeling about that one from the beginning.

UM EXCUSE ME WRITERS. WHAT IS BABY WOPEZ'S DANG NAME???????

at this point I'm 10008% sure she's just going to grow up without a name smh

Also I know I've said this about 359238 times already, but why is Celina still in long sleeves??? there's no way she's only been a rookie for less than 6 months. This timeline, you guys. I can't. Poor girl is gonna die in long sleeves. The only silver lining is that it looks like Tim will be her TO for the foreseeable future, with Nolan's injury. Maybe that will get things rolling, idk. We can hope.

I've heard other people say this so I just have to echo it real quick. I miss the old Rookie. Bring back boring days on patrol, with 6-19 different calls per day instead of these massive decked out plots that a normal LAPD officer wouldn't even be touching. I want bridal gown brawls again!!! Show me the monotony!! The character development!!!!! The little lunches out by the food trucks!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop making everyone and their mother a detective. Make someone another TO for once, and bring another rookie into the mix!!!! (Also let someone transfer to another station and/or wash out of the program mid-year for once smh *****COUGH celina COUGH****) Seasons 1-3 were truly peak Rookie and I miss it terribly.

There really isn't anything I truly loved about the finale, sadly, aside from Chenford (see below). I watched it twice, and both times it was just . . . Not it. The addition of Monica was random and pointless, and I despise her guts. I feel like this season could have been literally just the patrol cops answering calls and then mid-wilshire family movie nights and bonding time afterwards and we would have eaten. it. up. No need for the flashy lights and the big bad plot lines. But oh well, I suppose it is what it is.

.

.

OKAYYYY now on to Chenford :) Hoooo boy.

Let me just start out by saying -- NANNY LUCY MY BELOVED she's so freakin adorable I love her to death. What a queen.

The little "good to have you" I'M DEAD.

Okay but on a serious note, the whole breakup storyline is so heartbreaking, I've kind of felt numb toward it this whole time. Maybe it's a combination of life stuff keeping me busy and distracted, and knowing that they're not going to stay apart forever (because the showrunners are smart and they know that if chenford stays apart, they lose their entire fanbase), but I haven't felt quite as devastated as I would have, say, a couple months ago. I can't get behind it and I don't quite see the reasoning, but mostly I've been skating along pretty okay. It's weird.

That being said, I am SO GLAD about the direction they're going. Tim is growing in leaps and bounds, and I would LOVE to show this season to his season 1 self.

Would I have liked a little more cohesive conversation before the finale? Of course. Tim owes Lucy that real, adult talk, but with the time they had, I'm glad we are where we are.

I think the elevator scene was really beautiful. It gently touches on a lot of points from the last 5 seasons, just regarding their very different personalities and the way Lucy has treated Tim and vice versa. I think Tim is realizing most of his mistakes and -- dare I say -- double standards in their relationship, not just as a couple, but as friends and even back to their TO/Rookie times. Lucy has always been incredibly self-aware and empathetic, and those are things that have been largely missing from his side of things. But now, he's finally willing to admit that he needs to reassess his life and attitude, and I think that's so amazing.

(Actually it's a crazy cool parallel to Isabel, but I think that's a whole post for another day hahah)

I'm also SOO happy with how open-ended they left the elevator conversation. Anything more would have felt rushed and out of place. They're committed to the slow-burn game now apparently, and as impatient as I am . . . I can respect it.

ALSO I AM INSANE ABOUT THE SAVE IN THE TRUCK. Ahem Lucy kicking everyone's butt and looking good doing it?? Yes ma'am, slay queen!!!!!!! Also those little split-second looks they shared afterward, just carve those into my tombstone already. Tim climbing out of the car looking like he just went through a wood chipper but he can't keep his eyes off his gorgeous, beat-up ex-gf who has saved his live multiple times now? DELICIOUS. The life-saving parallels???!! I need to write so many fics and analyses. They just can't stop saving each other against absolutely all odds. It's programmed into their DNA at this point. I'm so so so insane. OMG

To summarize -- I hate that they broke up in the first place but I do see the light at the end of the tunnel. I loved their small interactions this ep, almost like a bittersweet nod to what they used to be and will be again in the future.

.

I have some more thoughts that are ping-ponging around my head, but I'm currently down with a fever and a cough so I haven't the energy to actually write them down lol but I plan to add to this later! Even if it's just in small random posts.

Thanks so much for the ask!! <3

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

Ayyy honeymoon :D!!

Ooh vlog style :o

Ope o.o

Uhhh xd nah something sus is going on lol

Um o.o

Nope y'all nahh xd

UH OH UM

Nah creepy masks a i n ' t i t .

Aww ay hey guys :D love them :)

Ooh backup 👀👀

We love getting to see some of the others as well :DD

Uh oh guys this is not good o.o

YOO they're actually gonna come yess :DD

OHH GOSH

Y'all cannot just have one normal thing can you xD

Poor babies 😭 they goin through it as always xd

At least it wasn't some terrible big scheme on their wedding itself lol

Just random stuff and a small bad thing xD

OPE GUYS O.O

Okay, that's the last of my promo thoughts, now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

Not quite as fancy as my 911 or tgd ones lol, more like the normal ones, just with the end of a liveblog as well :).

I made a post about this before coming back to this one, but happy 100th episode all!! Lowkey forgot this was the 100th anniversary lol. But it makes so much sense and it was a GREAT 100th episode :D.

I love that everyone had their little moment (at least): James with the music, Wesley with Oscar, Luna with her college classes, etc :). And just Randy, Chastity, Oscar, and Henry BEING there lol. Though to clarify Oscar was not at the wedding xD. But seriously, I really loved all the cameos and little character moments this episode :)).

Also CHENFORD AAAHHHH!!! Their MOMENTS this episode y'all I was losing it xD. I do kinda wish it hadn't been that Tim isn't supporting her despite thinking he is, though? Because the vibes last episode were just really on Tim's side, I guess, and now they're just tossing him into "bad guy" a bit. But, I think it'll work out in the end. I'm also glad Chastity brought up that Lucy could also be scared! I think that's a real possibility :). Anyway, they were ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE and whether it was the first time in universe or not, WHOOO FIRST I LOVE YOU!! And it was so cute :'D. Also the dance 😭😭😭❤️ stop I'm not okay :').

BAILEY AND JOHN ARE MARRIED!!! WHOOOOOO :'DDDD!!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🎊🎉🥂🎂🥂🥰❤️❤️🥰. I'm so happy for them :'DD

They might not be my favorite couple on the show but I still love them and this has been a long time coming. I'm also glad that despite all the issues they still had the wedding and everything was okay and beautiful 🥰🥰. Thank goodness they actually had it and we saw it lol (looking at you Wopez - still mad at the writers for that). Also I'm SO EXCITED for the next episode with their honeymoon :D.

I felt so bad for Celina and Aaron this episode 😭. Aaron because poor boy is going through it and misreading signals/situations xd, and Celina because she's trying to be there for him and do what's best and she as also, you know, kidnapped and beat up xD. But, I think they'll make it through it :).

Really though Aaron you need to talk to your therapist 😭. It's dangerous going out when you know you're not healing :(. Hope he learns it soon D':.

I loved all the togetherness moments this episode!! The bachelor and bachelorette parties (y'all I can't articulate it beyond loving individual characters and them all hanging out but oUAGH chomping on it)/last minute preparations xD were SO GOOD!! And the wedding, especially the dancing :'D. AUOGH, I love them <333. And of course the final mission at the end - they slay together :DD. Also, I'm glad Celina's okay :')).

Don't even get me started on the Wopez/Wesley angst. Y'all I'm about to have so many thoughts about them moving forward (even more than usual/always xD). Like! AUGH! OSCAR!! SITTING ACROSS FROM HIM!! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I'VE WAITED FOR THIS

Where's the panic attack Rookie <33

Where's the panic attack writers 🥰🥰 where is it :))

I'm kidding xD kind of lol. But seriously, the angst thoughts are turning (the wheels are turning) :DD. And don't forget about Angela either lol

Anyway! Everybody slayed this episode and I REALLY enjoyed it :D. I'm SOO excited for the next one :)). Also, again (mentioned it in the liveblog or just before), I don't know that I've ever gotten to watch it live before, so this was the perfect episode to get to do it :D.

Loved the episode!!!

Happy 100th Episode guys 🥂🥰🥰. I love this show and you all so much :DD.

See you next time!!

[ina-nis]

Today is one of those days that are specially hard to go through alone so... I've been crying and trying to find comfort however I can... but mostly crying.

This is really painful and I'm quite literally too exhausted to fight loneliness or even distract myself for long enough - and no, all the good things don't really help, as they do not address loneliness.

Time and again, in days like today, I get angry at myself for being so stubborn, so unyielding. Whenever I do think about giving up (no dying, just giving up on trying to address this) it makes me cry so hard, as if there were something inside of me fighting to keep going.

I hate this.

I don't want to think about this anymore, I don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to love, I don't want to date anyone, I just want it to be gone so I can try and live my life, and maybe get some enjoyment from all other things that make me happy (that get absolutely drowned by all this noise).

But I can't help it, of course I can't!

I obsess and obsess and obsess because that's what I do best! And now I actually know why that happens so I can at least sleep at night knowing it's not my fault.

"Hey, you've done enough. You tried the best you could and you did a good job. You can rest now, you can stop, it's alright. It's okay for you to stop."

I wish someone would tell me this.

Telling this myself does nothing.

New therapist mentioned something about finding a middle-ground but I'm way too exhausted to even try anything anymore.

People drain me and I feel sick to my stomach. These feelings hurt and, to make matters worse, my brain gets absolutely sucked up in so I'm left pretty much helpless to stop for long enough - it always come back, because the main issue remains the same.

When I stop to think about why I can't give up, there's 2 things I see: absolutely terrible people or very dysfunctional ones able to develop and maintain relationships despite it all, so I think "if they can do it like that, how could I not? When I'm actually putting so much effort and money into addressing my issues for the sake of myself and others."

The other thing is because I am able to love at all, although unrequited so far, I am able to experience this big scope of emotions that come with romantic love and more.

I guess one of the main steps into "moving on" from these feelings, from what I've seen, is to move away from love and love-related things, away from romance and so on. It makes sense because they are "triggers" for me.

I was met with an issue though...

A lot of my life and identity revolves around love.

When I embraced my natural eroticism and inclinations, was when I really started recognizing and liking myself.

Romance is a big part of who I am as an individual, independent of others, because I can experience romance by myself.

I cannot imagine a life without these things.

That's probably why I was never able to truly "kill" my feelings, I was never able to move on from them or completely bury them in the back of my mind.

I was never able to come to hate people despite the fact that I tried so hard, for so many years, to become a misanthrope.

I love them, I can't help but love them. Because I love myself I am able to love others too, because I see some of myself in them, and there's some things of theirs in me, too.

So my wish is to be done with feelings that are fundamental to me.

To wish them away is the same as wishing my own life away.

Isn't that ironic coming from someone who is chronically suicidal?